Got Pregnancy Anxiety?

Disclaimer: This information is not medical advice. Please consult your physician or health care provider for medical advice. 

So you’ve read the baby books, attended the baby classes, done the virtual hospital tours, done your registry, had your baby shower, packed your hospital bags and nested/baby proofed as much as humanly possible but you’re still feeling...anxious.

Here are 3 ways you can help ease the pregnancy jitters!

1. Connect. Especially with the those who make you feel grounded. Pregnancy can, at times, feel very isolating because no one knows what you are feeling in your body or processing in your mind but you; not even your partner...just you. 

Resist the urge to socially isolate. (Well unless you have Covid 19)

Trust me when I say there are many more isolating moments to come as a mom of a newborn. 

For starters, you are awake when the adults in your life are asleep and you are napping when they are awake and busy. As busy and intrigued as you may be with your little one, you will eventually crave adult conversations - so be sure to take advantage now. 

Go on those (Covid responsible) lunch dates, social gatherings, nature walks, etc. or have virtual chats. Bask in having those interruption free heart to heart conversations because there are days coming where you may be unable to get a good word in with your little one around. 

Healthy social connection, during pregnancy, is also a good way to practice emotional hygiene and reduce the likelihood of postpartum depression. 

2. Play. Define what is fun for you and be intentional about having as much of it before baby. Having a child changes and or delays the way you experience fun and sometimes for the better sometimes not. Be sure to connect with the activities that bring you personal joy and happiness, in case that changes. 

So whether it’s attending dance classes, spending hours doing crossword or word puzzles, painting, blasting loud music, binge watching a series on TV.

Fun fact: Singing in the shower or around the house is great practice for breathing through labour contractions and a great way to ease Braxton Hicks. 

Whatever it is that's good fun for you, make time for it. There are days coming when you may not have as much time to dedicate to your personal fun.  Here are some interesting movies you can watch about motherhood if your fun involves watching movies. 

3. Rest. If you’ve been reading up those baby books and articles, you’ve probably heard this advice before and it’s probably sounding like a bit of a cliche. Trust me when I say this is BIG facts. You will never rest the way you rest now, never again, once you become a mother. Unless you have some sleep disorder that knocks you all the way out, or something, you are going to become a light sleeper and be operating on less sleep than you are accustomed to. 

Really take the time now to prioritize your rest and enjoy it! Here are some tips for getting great rest now and after baby is born. 

In all things take a deep breath and ground yourself. Pray, meditate, spend time in nature, think of the many mothers who have successfully laboured and find your inner peace. 

Here's wishing you an enjoyable pregnancy and a safe, healthy delivery. 💜

Hyperemesis Gravidarum (HG) & The Expecting Mom - Part 1

What is Hyperemesis Gravidarum?

A couple of months ago I could not even spell this disorder but it’s quite a different scenario when someone close to you becomes so deeply affected by it. You quickly learn all you can about Hyperemesis Gravidarum aka excessive vomiting aka HG.

A quick google will tell you, at the very least, that HG is a rare pregnancy condition that affects 1 in 3 pregnant women and basically prevents women from keeping food or even liquid down. A quick social media scan will reveal what HG is not. The consensus on social media is that HG is NOT a form of Morning Sickness and that it’s actually quite different in the way it disables expecting moms. 

I want to lend my voice in sharing about some of the effects, survival tips and precautionary measures that I have learned about from doing my own non-scholarly HG research. I also want to share, in follow up posts, some ideas of how family members can support an Expecting Mom battling HG. My hope is that this can create more space for HG Expecting Moms; Survivors and Support Family Members to share their experiences, tips and ideas for dealing with HG.

I first heard about Hyperemesis not from the news and Kate Middleton or Amy Schumer but from a YouTube family called The McClures. It was a video where the mom, Ami, was pregnant with her third child and always seemed to be MIA, locked away in a dark room. Even though she explained what she had and some of her symptoms, my mind still registered it as some weird ‘extreme morning sickness’ that only other people get. I had absolutely no context. They say it’s rare but not until it enters your circle do you realize it’s rare but happens a lot and often goes undiagnosed. 

Why HG flies under the radar...

An HG pregnancy is traumatic and unless deliberately documented, a survivor may not be able to adequately paint a clear picture for non sufferers. As a result, it ends up mostly being a ‘who feels it knows it’ type of disorder. 

Also, many HG sufferers may get medicines/treatment but never get a diagnosis or a name to put to what they are experiencing. Family members who had to lend support may also eventually forget how traumatic HG can be and especially when there is no name or label for that experience. The birth of a bouncing new baby also helps to erase the memory of some of the trauma. 

I believe it’s so important for Expecting Moms suffering from HG to receive a proper diagnosis; not only to get the right treatment plan but also to have a way to properly communicate what they are going through to family and friends so they can receive all the support they need. 

What does HG look like?

1. Excessive vomiting for more than 5 times per day.
2. Inability to keep even water or ice down
3. Extreme nausea 
4. Constant spitting
5. Strong aversions to food and food smells
6. Extreme dehydration 
7. Extreme Thirst 
8. Fire Like Feeling In Belly 
9. Strong headaches 
10. Sensitivity to light and sound 
11. Physical pain from heaving to vomit 
12. Nose bleeds from agressive vomiting 
13. Vomiting Blood 
14. Dark urine 
15. Little to no urine 
16. Extreme fatigue 

And the list goes on...

So just how can family and friends support an HG mom experiencing these strong debilitating symptoms? 

Comment below and I will include your suggestions in Part 2 of our HG awareness series. 💜

Major Considerations Before Having A Baby

Disclaimer: Answering these questions and checking all these boxes for yourself is just a start. Child birth is such a privilege and mystery and there are still so many unknowns. Seek and get all the support, medical and familial, that you need on this journey. All the best mama! 

To start, baby fever and the biological clock are real, valid and natural feelings experienced by both men and women. It’s usually the spark that leads to the creation of a family. They say hind sight is 20/20 so this post is an attempt to look further down the road at the practical considerations to factor in as you prepare for your new journey into motherhood. 

These five questions have been formulated based on Maslow’s hierarchy of needs starting from the bottom of the pyramid going up. 

1. Are you able to provide a stable source of food, water, warmth and rest for yourself and growing child? Life happens and has a way of throwing us into a loop sometimes. In answering this question it’s important to think proactively. Do you have a stable source of income, savings, investments or employment insurance? Brainstorm different worst case scenarios and consider what your Plan A, Plan B & Plan C would look like if you ran into difficulty providing or accessing these basic needs. 

2. Are you able to provide a safe and secure environment for yourself and your growing child both (a) internally and (b) externally? (a) In answering this question first think of your body as your baby’s first place of shelter. If you’ve never carried a child full term before you likely won’t know what your body is capable of. Thinking proactively: You can scan your family’s reproductive history to see if there are any familial trends. Ask your mother, parent or anyone that may know of reproductive issues that run in the family. Additionally, you can go to a gynecologist and find some things out. They won’t know everything about your body but at the very least they can check on your reproductive organs to see if there is anything to be learnt before you conceive. They too will want to know if you have any family reproductive health issues. There are so many other checks and balances that can be done by a healthcare provider before you conceive such as mental health checks, iron levels, potassium levels etc. Also in general, women are advised to take folic acid prior to conceiving. In short, good overall health can make a huge difference on the journey. 

(b) Think of where you are living now and project as far as possible in your mind. Do you see yourself raising a child where you currently live? Is it safe and secure? Can you potentially make it a nest? For how long? Many healthcare providers usually advise that if you are planning a BIG Move to ideally do it before you get pregnant or at the very least in the very early days.  

3. Do you have support on this journey? This is actually a question that your healthcare provider will ask before or after you conceive. Ask yourself who is your village? Because quite frankly, pregnant women and new moms need support. Will you rely on the love and support of a partner, family members, friends, church group or other organization? You’d be surprised at just how much help and support pregnant and new moms need. It can make the difference for a healthy, trauma free pregnancy journey. 

4. What is your true motive for getting pregnant? On Maslow’s hierarchy of needs under psychological needs he talks a lot about human behavior, esteem and motivation. You have to have some heart to hearts with yourself to uncover if motherhood is truly your heart’s  desire or if you are pursuing motherhood because of other motives outside of yourself? 

5. Is it the right timing to start this journey considering the self actualizing goals that you’ve set for yourself? Because quite frankly some women have dreams and desires that are incompatible with their desire for motherhood. So ask yourself, based on what you are currently pursuing in life is it the right time for you to embark on motherhood? 

If you’re already on the journey and facing problems just know that help and resources are available around you if you reach out for help.