October 29, 2019
I feel overwhelmed. I feel anxious. I feel frozen, lethargic and stationary. I hate feeling this way. There is so much to do and already I feel I don't have enough energy to do it all. I managed to change one baby's diaper, the other one's needs changing but here I am lounging in the unmade bed thinking of all the chores and tasks I have to do.
Luckily I did not have to make breakfast for myself. My husband made fruit and eggs and I woke and made coffee. I should have more energy. This morning, brain work is draining me. Just texted and sent back a document to the realtor. Up thinking if the handy man will be coming back to our rental unit to finish up work started yesterday. Thinking about the job certification I need to study for to get certified by Friday. Waiting to hear if our offer on a home was accepted. Fear of the future and unknown is draining me. My toddler is done being distracted...back to life...
Reaction: Nothing gives me more amusement & aha moments (as a mom and as a person) than reviewing my journal entries. I'm big on journaling and doing a brain dump daily or as frequently as it's needed. Self reflection through journaling is a good and healthy part oh mental health not just when in distress but throughout all emotions. Pre motherhood I used to do my journaling in pretty well bound journals but nowadays I write wherever whenever which sometimes is a quick brain dump in my phone. Anybody else does that?
As a mom of three now, looking back on this express journal entry (as I'd like to call it); I'm happy to report that I can make my bed and my breakfast now (although which mom wouldn't enjoy having these things done for them?) and that our offer on a house was accepted and that we closed the chapter on that rental unit - with gratitude. My children require even more of my energy and attention than they did then #ToddlerLife 😅 I never did get that job I was certifying for and had I known the COVID 19 pandemic and additional baby was around the corner, I would have saved some of the energy and the worry. 😀😅
Still wish I had more energy to do all I need/want to do. All the organization projects, completing important tasks on my to do list (that I've been procrastinating) advancing my entrepreneurial goals, homeschooling my kids, relationship goals, fitness goals, spiritual goals, self development goals etc etc. One thing this global pandemic has taught me twice over is that there is no use worrying over the future and the fear of the unknown because the present is the gift and all we really have.
" She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future."
- Proverbs 31:25
Encouraging everyone...all the moms Expecting & OGs to take on each day as it comes with love, life & gratitude 💜
