Disclaimer: Answering these questions and checking all these boxes for yourself is just a start. Child birth is such a privilege and mystery and there are still so many unknowns. Seek and get all the support, medical and familial, that you need on this journey. All the best mama!
To start, baby fever and the biological clock are real, valid and natural feelings experienced by both men and women. It’s usually the spark that leads to the creation of a family. They say hind sight is 20/20 so this post is an attempt to look further down the road at the practical considerations to factor in as you prepare for your new journey into motherhood.
These five questions have been formulated based on Maslow’s hierarchy of needs starting from the bottom of the pyramid going up.
1. Are you able to provide a stable source of food, water, warmth and rest for yourself and growing child? Life happens and has a way of throwing us into a loop sometimes. In answering this question it’s important to think proactively. Do you have a stable source of income, savings, investments or employment insurance? Brainstorm different worst case scenarios and consider what your Plan A, Plan B & Plan C would look like if you ran into difficulty providing or accessing these basic needs.
2. Are you able to provide a safe and secure environment for yourself and your growing child both (a) internally and (b) externally? (a) In answering this question first think of your body as your baby’s first place of shelter. If you’ve never carried a child full term before you likely won’t know what your body is capable of. Thinking proactively: You can scan your family’s reproductive history to see if there are any familial trends. Ask your mother, parent or anyone that may know of reproductive issues that run in the family. Additionally, you can go to a gynecologist and find some things out. They won’t know everything about your body but at the very least they can check on your reproductive organs to see if there is anything to be learnt before you conceive. They too will want to know if you have any family reproductive health issues. There are so many other checks and balances that can be done by a healthcare provider before you conceive such as mental health checks, iron levels, potassium levels etc. Also in general, women are advised to take folic acid prior to conceiving. In short, good overall health can make a huge difference on the journey.
(b) Think of where you are living now and project as far as possible in your mind. Do you see yourself raising a child where you currently live? Is it safe and secure? Can you potentially make it a nest? For how long? Many healthcare providers usually advise that if you are planning a BIG Move to ideally do it before you get pregnant or at the very least in the very early days.
3. Do you have support on this journey? This is actually a question that your healthcare provider will ask before or after you conceive. Ask yourself who is your village? Because quite frankly, pregnant women and new moms need support. Will you rely on the love and support of a partner, family members, friends, church group or other organization? You’d be surprised at just how much help and support pregnant and new moms need. It can make the difference for a healthy, trauma free pregnancy journey.
4. What is your true motive for getting pregnant? On Maslow’s hierarchy of needs under psychological needs he talks a lot about human behavior, esteem and motivation. You have to have some heart to hearts with yourself to uncover if motherhood is truly your heart’s desire or if you are pursuing motherhood because of other motives outside of yourself?
5. Is it the right timing to start this journey considering the self actualizing goals that you’ve set for yourself? Because quite frankly some women have dreams and desires that are incompatible with their desire for motherhood. So ask yourself, based on what you are currently pursuing in life is it the right time for you to embark on motherhood?
If you’re already on the journey and facing problems just know that help and resources are available around you if you reach out for help.
