Disclaimer: Views expressed here are my own opinions and lived experiences. If you have something different and helpful to share - comment below.
Once upon a time, I was on the verge of experiencing Motherhood burnout (ok maybe I was fully there). One day while mindlessly scrolling through YouTube, looking for a distraction, I came across a video explaining the difference between Burnout and Depression while simultaneously reading articles about Motherhood Burnout. Less than 5 minutes in (reading and listening) it dawned on me that Motherhood is not a job and comparing it to a job is an orange vs. apples situation.
You see, in the video, the speaker gave a powerful example of what burnout is and that’s when light bulbs went off for me.
She shared that when a person is burnt out they can go on vacation with all the reassurance that someone is handling their everyday duties at work. Thus, when they go on vacation they can be fully present, relaxed, recharged and refreshed to go back to work.
On the other hand when a person is depressed the darkness follows them.
Caveat: I am in no way saying your kids are the darkness. (Wipes sweat 😅)
On the flip side: I once saw a meme that said ‘parents of young children don’t have relaxing vacations; they just pack up the chaos at their house and move it to another location.’
Back to the train of thought...
In trying to liken her description/example to Motherhood burnout - I could not. For starters, which Mom, especially of littles, can go on a tropical vacation away from their young children and fully relax and unwind?
Show forth yourself because I’d love to psychoanalyze you. Lol.
On a serious note...
Mothering is a 24/7 thing whether stay at home mom or working a job at home mom.
Question for work out of home moms: Do you think of motherhood as a 24/7 thing? Comment down below 👇🏾
I want to highlight three fundamental ways in which a regular job differs from Motherhood:
- You can always change a job or quit it all together.
- If you quit your job you’re easily replaced and it’s back to business as usual.
- When you leave work (and if you’re good at setting healthy work life boundaries) you don’t have to think about it or do any work till the next work day.
Caveat: There are people who treat work/ a job like their baby and jobs that want to consume even your dreams/nightmares.
The list goes on but when I think of these 3 key differences, I’m reminded that Motherhood is not a job but a high calling and the work a mother does is ALWAYS calling.
This non-stop existence can lead to Motherhood burnout because it is so all consuming. So based on what I’ve lived, read and watched...here are some ways to combat Motherhood burnout:
- Get enough rest. Whatever your body needs to function, at it’s best, prioritize that and get that amount.
- Get the right nutrition. Because basically Motherhood is a marathon so fuelling on coffee just won’t cut it. Get the good stuff (fruits, veggies, vitamins, minerals etc) your body needs to be sharp and focused.
- Get enough exercise. Because these kids are not slowing down or taking days off.
- Set boundaries and expectations.Kids take/demand a lot of time and energy so manage expectations with your social circle/gadget life. People will come to understand that you’re a busy mom of 1...2...3...4...etc kids and that you’ll eventually return their text or missed call.
- Ask for help/advice/supportwhen you need it and remember to pay it forward.
- Prioritize alone time. Whether it’s 45 minutes or an hour in the morning, noon or night...pray, journal, meditate, sing, dance...do something that is going to emotionally/spiritually energize you.
- Plan & Organizeyour days including your fun days. The work spent planning on the front end will save you the burnout on the back end. In general, time spent organizing your life is never wasted time.
- Remember Your Why. Write it down, put it on your vision board anything that will remind you of why being the best mother you can be is important you.
Caveat: If untreated, burnout can lead to depression (consult your Doctor or healthcare provider on this).
Motherhood is dynamic, important, enormous, tiresome, consuming, multifaceted, challenging, [insert some good adjectives] and if done to the best of your ability, can create a positive ripple effect for generations to come.
On those especially tough days, remember you’re not alone in this ‘hood. Just think of the many mothers before you or around you who are also powering through the hard moments. Take comfort in that fact that you are not alone.
